My first month of Clomid ended in a BFN, so my doctor upped my dosage to 100 mgs. This definitely kicked things into gear, if the 5-6 days of serious pain leading up to my ovulations were any indication. I had to be careful not even to lean against anything or let anything touch my belly during those days. Ouch! And my emotionality didn't improve at all. At least it didn't make me angry or agressive as I'd heard had happened with some women.
But the Clomid did seem to be making some improvement. My progesterone level went up to a 2.3 the first month at 50 mgs, then a 3.5 after the first month of 100mgs. It continued to rise a few points every month, indicating that my ovulations were getting stronger, but still I wasn't getting pregnant.
Finally, after the 5th month of Clomid with no pregnancy, I decided to take a break from the meds. I just wasn't feeling like myself and the pain was pretty bad. But my ovulations had at least improved. I was finally up to a 10.2!
February 8, 2010
February 7, 2010
Clomid
Clomid is the universal, catch-all drug prescribed to most women with infertility. It may or may not relate at all to what is going on with her body, or what cannot be diagnosed, but if she can't get pregnant and it's been at least 12 months, her doctor will probably prescribe her Clomid.
Technically, Clomid is really only to be used to induce ovulation in women who don't ovulate at all. But it is also given to women who have poor quality ovulations or whose ovulations are uncertain. This was the case with me. I have always had regular periods, and I have always been able to tell when I ovulated. I would have a twinge of pain, maybe for 5-10 minutes, right in the ovary that was ovulating that month.
But after a series of blood tests, carefully timed to check the hormone levels in my body at ovulation, the doctor said it wasn't clear whether my ovulations were of good quality. My progesterone level was only 1.5. It should be 10 to indicate that ovulation has occured, and, though this idea is controversial among fertility specialists, a level of 10 progesterone must be achieved in order to sustain a pregnancy.
I had only been TTC for six months at this point. And doctors, as a rule, don't consider you infertile until you have TTC'ed for a whole year. But I was already 30 years old, and I had carefully tracked my cycles for six months, and we'd tested everything else, and I was VERY persistant. So my doctor prescribed me Clomid.
The first month I took 50 mgs. It made me kind of loopy. By that I mean that I was hyper emotional. I would cry at the slightest thing. Not things that were real, things that should make me cry. But random things, like Hallmark commercials or long distance commercials. Or when teaching my history students about the Emancipation Proclamation. It was kind of embarrassing.
Another side effect was that my ovulations became much more painful. Instead of a few minutes of pain, I began to have several days of pain and swelling and tenderness leading up to ovulation. It was uncomfortable. But at least it made it much more clear when "all systems were go."
Technically, Clomid is really only to be used to induce ovulation in women who don't ovulate at all. But it is also given to women who have poor quality ovulations or whose ovulations are uncertain. This was the case with me. I have always had regular periods, and I have always been able to tell when I ovulated. I would have a twinge of pain, maybe for 5-10 minutes, right in the ovary that was ovulating that month.
But after a series of blood tests, carefully timed to check the hormone levels in my body at ovulation, the doctor said it wasn't clear whether my ovulations were of good quality. My progesterone level was only 1.5. It should be 10 to indicate that ovulation has occured, and, though this idea is controversial among fertility specialists, a level of 10 progesterone must be achieved in order to sustain a pregnancy.
I had only been TTC for six months at this point. And doctors, as a rule, don't consider you infertile until you have TTC'ed for a whole year. But I was already 30 years old, and I had carefully tracked my cycles for six months, and we'd tested everything else, and I was VERY persistant. So my doctor prescribed me Clomid.
The first month I took 50 mgs. It made me kind of loopy. By that I mean that I was hyper emotional. I would cry at the slightest thing. Not things that were real, things that should make me cry. But random things, like Hallmark commercials or long distance commercials. Or when teaching my history students about the Emancipation Proclamation. It was kind of embarrassing.
Another side effect was that my ovulations became much more painful. Instead of a few minutes of pain, I began to have several days of pain and swelling and tenderness leading up to ovulation. It was uncomfortable. But at least it made it much more clear when "all systems were go."
February 6, 2010
The Waiting Game
Waiting is the one universal thing that all TTC women have in common. Everyone's story is different: PCOS, IVF, male infertility, deviated uterus, endometriosis, blocked tubes....there are all kinds of diagnoses (and lack thereof), but the one thing we all share is having to wait, WAIT, WAIT, WAAAAAAIIIIIIIITTTTT. First you wait for your period to end. Then you wait for signs of ovulation, then you wait for your OPKs to indicate it's time to BD, then you BD like crazy, and then comes the most awful wait of all....the dreaded two week wait (2WW) before you can find out if you're pregnant. It is the longest 14 days of any human's life. But who am I kidding? No one who is TTC waits the full 2 weeks. Most start testing 7 days past ovulation (DPO) if there is even the slightest indication that she may be pregnant (or not). Sore boobs? I better test! Strange CM? I better test! Spotting? I for SURE better test. Then when the HPT comes back negative, she tests again 9DPO. And then again at 11DPO. And again until she either runs out of tests or money for more tests or until AF proves without a shadow of a doubt that she is NOT pregnant.
It's maddening. Every twinge of the body is scrutinized for the possibility that it may mean something significant is going on. Most of the time it means nothing. And when AF shows up, you cry, get depressed, get discouraged, get determined again, and start the whole process over.
Again.
And Again.
And Again.
There is more crying, more frustration, more confusion, more depression, but ultimately you have no choice but to either give up and decide you are not going to bear children, or to do it yet again.
And you want a baby. You want a baby DESPERATELY by now. So you are willing to do it again and again and again. And then again.
It's maddening. Every twinge of the body is scrutinized for the possibility that it may mean something significant is going on. Most of the time it means nothing. And when AF shows up, you cry, get depressed, get discouraged, get determined again, and start the whole process over.
Again.
And Again.
And Again.
There is more crying, more frustration, more confusion, more depression, but ultimately you have no choice but to either give up and decide you are not going to bear children, or to do it yet again.
And you want a baby. You want a baby DESPERATELY by now. So you are willing to do it again and again and again. And then again.
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