Disillusioned

I haven't posted in a while. I lost my fertility blogging mojo, I guess.

I still have a lot to tell about how I got here. But I'm feeling at the moment like talking about now.

Now is when I am almost ready to give up and call it good. My baby, my three year old baby, just potty trained himself. So I've finally gotten to reclaim the surface of my bedroom dresser (which was a changing table for the last 4 1/2 years) and the surface of my son's dresser (which was also a changing table) and my purse, which always had to have a diaper and some wipes shoved in, and the top drawer of my dresser, which had extra diapers and swim diapers, and, and, and....

I feel like I might have the rest of my life in view again. The light at the end of the baby-rearing tunnel is in sight. And it's made me kind of excited. About being able to be ME again. Not a nursing, exhausted, diaper-changing, baby-barf smelling shadow of myself.

Don't get me wrong. I have loved bearing and rearing children. I have loved my babies. But I am soooo tired of trying to get pregnant and being disappointed that I am ready to give up right about now.

Almost.